Jul 19
I have thought a lot about what went through Mary B’s mind before she came to Windy Heron. The week before she came, did she say goodbye to people, Bill, Clara, her mom? Did she have any idea that she was so close to making the transition?
The third day she was here, she suddenly asked me. Do you know that feeling that hits you after you have had a car accident and your adrenalin stops when you get home and you are totally exhausted and your guards are all down? I said that I did know that feeling, having had several serious car accidents in my life. She said, that’s how I feel here today. That’s all she said.
The next day we were sitting quietly, when Mary B started to cry. I asked her what was going on, could she tell me? She said, I feel it in my gut that I am never going to leave here. I held her tight and we cuddled. I tried not to cry and just be there for her and her needs. How hard was that?
One of her questions was; Are you disappointed in me? I asked, in what way? She said in terms of how I have dealt with my CF? I immediately hugged her and told her how proud I was of her and how she had grown up knowing she had CF and all the great things she did with her life and all she had done with Clara. I told her I didn’t think I could have done as well as she had, and she was an example to so many other people and her friends for her strength and laughter and joy for life.
Mary B sayings:
If you can’t breathe, nothing else much matters.
Everybody is just doing the best they can.