One Year Ago – Pankaj Message Jul 22 & My Response

 

Clara;

This is an email from my best friend, Pankaj Chand. I hope you get to meet him, Clara. He is a find man. He helped your mother and I out when we most needed him to be there. Best friend, ever. He loved your mom very much. Many times, he would get her medical treatment when nobody else could. You only get a few of those in this lifetime.

Dearest James,

Take a few big breaths.

How are you holding together?

Is Mary comfortable or able to be for some periods of time?

What type of conversations are you having?  I am sure it is both awkward and heart-wrenching.

You had always mentioned to me how hard it is to put one’s ego in one’s back pocket … What reasonable response can there be to fulfilling someone’s last wishes in life?  Detachment from this world is perhaps one of the hardest things anyone of us can do.

I was up with Arun … who has finally gone to bed … I am a little fried as I drove home after my shift till this morning and was not “allowed” to sleep … Forgive me for not touching base in person today … I am both mentally and physically exhausted (as I know you are as well).

Hopefully, you can let me know if there are more opportune times to call (I know … anytime is a good time …). Is the early morning still OK?  I don’t want to disrupt the little catnaps you need to avoid delirium.

With much Love for both you and Mary (x2),
Pankaj

My response:

You are correct. You and I are both exhausted. Mary is resting peacefully. Hospice was able to give her a sponge bath today which she tolerated fairly well. She fades in and out and I try to sleep but it is difficult because I listen for each breath.
Love to talk in the morning.
Love you!
James

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