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Dedicated to the strongest woman I have known!
A tribute to Mary. When you can’t breathe, nothing else much matters.
This is the week before Mary came to visit arriving July 16th, 2017. I imagine what she must have been thinking and planning a week before traveling to see me. We had spent time on the phone and Skype the weekend before. I had a great conversation with Clara.
I have wondered, did Mary know at that time that this would be where she would make the transition from this life? Did she think about all the things you had to do before leaving? Did she have things left on her to-do list when she got back?
It was only eight days from the time she arrived until she was gone, in my arms. I am so honored.
A Great Night Out With Mary Boleyn – Feb 2, 2015
When I got to town in Kitchener that cold winter day, you had everything waiting for me to stay with you for a few days while I did some business. I had rented a car in Buffalo and by the time I got to Kitchener the snow was already 6-8 inches deep. You had a space for my rental car all set up, of course, so I easily got into the underground garage. The next morning, I went out to get a Timmies for us both and got stuck in the snow around the first corner. It was one of those have one foot out the door pushing and letting the engine do it’s best while the tires just spun. Oh, the joys of Canada in the winter.
You announced that you had bought two tickets to see Jeff Dunham at the arena on Ottawa St. We got there at the opening because you said we could park in the handicap parking because of your CF. It was perfect. We sauntered in and you took me to the gift tables and insisted that I let you by me a Peanut doll. I agreed only if I could buy you one as well. I still have mine next to your picture to remind me to smile often.
Here we are in the arena waiting for the show to start. Love you!
Message to Clara June 2018
Message to Clara May 2018
Mary’s Mother’s Day 2018
It was a year ago that I reached out to Mary to let her know I was in her corner just prior to Mother’s Day. It was the first Mother’s Day following Clara being adopted and I knew she would have some emotion around it. That email changed both our lives. She immediately wrote back to me.
May 3, 2017
Hi Sweetie;
I was just thinking with all that is going on this month, you might like to know that someone is in your corner.
Love;
DAD
DAD
Thanks Dad. This email came at just the right time.
I would like to take a moment to say sorry to you. I have being doing a lot of reading (I’m currently reading a great book called Rising Strong) and in it it talks about how we have expectations for other people and then resent them for not living up to them and then dealing with the lose of those unmet expectations. I’ve started to learn that expectations are resentments waiting to happen.
I’m sorry that I had expectations for you as a dad that I didn’t share with you, and I’m sorry that I got mad and blamed you for not living up to those expectations.
I know now that you were doing the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time.
I hope this email doesn’t come too late for us to try to rebuild our relationship.
I love you and am grateful to have you in my life, as you are.
Please forgive the time it took for me to learn these lessons for myself.
Love
May 2018
I wanted this Mother’s Day to be special. Mary spent her last eight days with me at Hyco Lake with my best friend, Mary Mount. Daughter Mary really enjoyed the lake view.
I took a grapefruit half and put in a candle, surrounded by the flowers that were blooming when she was here. I included a Maple Leaf for Canada and a smidgen of her ashes and set it afloat at dusk with the candle lit. My friend Mary and I watched and played Ode to Joy on my phone until they drifted out of site. It took hours and was very heartwarming.
I also included a candlelight for my Mom and Mary Mount’s Mom. I think I will make it a tradition.
April Message to Clara
Hospice Charity
Mary and Clara;
Adding another charity contribution to the hospice services that helped so much.
Hospice Apr 10 20180001
